An Uncertain Future

Honestly, ever since I have arrived here at Wartburg something has been wrong. I'm not saying that it's a new thing every day, although it could be. No, I'm saying that something has been off here and I can't figure it out.

Maybe Wartburg and I just aren't meant to be together.
Or maybe music therapy and I don't mix.

There are so many things that could be affecting the way I feel. I can't figure it out. I've tried and tried and I still don't know. Some days I just want to go home and stay home.

But then again, there are options. There are almost always options. However, I feel lost when I try to choose which one is for me. These are the things I have come up with so far:

1. Wartburg is the right choice for me and so is music therapy. I just haven't fully transitioned into life at college.
2. Wartburg is the right choice for me, but music therapy isn't going to last. Changing my major would be the best choice. This will require some research and a lot of discussing with people.
3. Music therapy is right for me, but Wartburg isn't giving me what I need. Better transfer schools, eh?
4. Wartburg isn't right for me and neither is music therapy. Better transfer schools and change majors.

I don't know which of the above options applies to me. I really don't. So then I came up with some more options of what I can do right now about the situation.

1. Stay here until the end of the semester. From there either change majors, transfer schools, or go home and think about it for a while.
2. Stay here until the end of the year. Maybe the winter and may term classes will really show me more of what I'll be doing for the next 4 years. Decide from their whether to transfer schools or change majors.

Both of these options sound good, but I'm gonna have to go with option 2. This way I will get my feet into some more of the coursework and get college credit for the classes my parents and I are paying for. The downside of waiting a full year before transferring or changing majors or both (if I decide that) is that I will be behind. I hate falling behind in anything. Changing majors in general will make me feel like this first year was a waste of time as well. Perhaps my stubbornness and need to stay on track will force me to stay here, no matter how hard it is.

I bet you all are wondering what my thoughts are about what schools I would like to transfer to or what majors I have thought about switching to. Well here ya go:

1. Augustana College in Rock Island, IL. It's close to home, I'm familiar with it, and I really do enjoy the environment. Also, I am accepted there and have scholarships. They aren't as great in monetary value as Wartburg, but it's a start.

That's really the only school I've thought of because I haven't had time to look up any new options...but that will change if I continue to feel serious about this endeavor.

On to the major choices (really there's only one again. I am so confused about what I want in the world right now, so I can't choose a major quite yet! STOP PRESSURING ME)

1. Library Science. I know, you're all thinking, 'That's stupid. Library science is clearly a dying business because books are becoming obsolete thanks to those stupid Kindles and ebooks that are life-ruiners." But wait, won't colleges always have libraries? Won't archives always exist? Hello! Library of Congress, everyone. Library Science and Information Technology (they're often paired together) will continue to exist. It's really cool because you can pretty much make of it whatever you want. For example, if you plan to work in a hospital library, you would take a lot of courses in biology and medicine at college. I could be a music archivist even, so my music knowledge wouldn't go to waste! Anyways, the downside to this is that Wartburg doesn't have library science as a major, so I would have to transfer. Also, librarians have to have master's degrees. As a music therapist graduating from Wartburg, a master's degree is not required! Less time in school and less money spent on schooling. Win-win. But is it a win-win situation if I don't love what I'm doing?

So, in conclusion, if I ever look upset, distraught, or confused, it's probably because I'm still trying to figure out why I don't feel right here. And stemming from that I'm trying to figure out what I can do to feel right about myself. I don't need hugs or anything, but I do appreciate them!